Blogging for Your Breasts Day (or the lack thereof, in my case!)

Today is October 1, the start of Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  It may just be because of my personal experience, but it seems like this whole month is filled with pink, pink, and more pink.  I have very mixed feelings about it.  I think it's great to spread awareness.  As much as we think, "Oh, EVERYONE knows about breast cancer!", it's not knowing about it that matters.  It's taking action to find it early or prevent it altogether, whether that's from a self-exam, scheduling a mammygram, making a follow-up appointment, or reminding the loved ones in our lives to take action.

It's been 2 1/2 years since I was diagnosed, and in some ways I think it's more weird now than it was when I was going through my breast cancer.  I guess I'm just removed from it enough that it's not on my mind every waking moment like it once was.  In fact, there are times where I am struck with the strange realization that yes, I had cancer.  I attended a luncheon last Sunday with some dear friends who are also BC survivors.  The room was filled with people, mostly women, mostly older.  And then there was this one table with six of us, all wearing the pink "I'm a survivor!" stickers.  Four of the ladies were in their 40s, another was 38 & a one-year-survivor, and I'm 37 & a two-year-survivor.  I've met one person that was diagnosed at the same age I was (and on the same exact date the year before--REALLY strange!), and four others that were younger than I was.  And it's been two years and a week since my breasts were removed, along with all the cancer.  (The picture at the top is me with the pillows the hospital sent home with me after my mastectomy.  That's my pain pump hanging around my neck. I found those pillows VERY amusing!!!!)

I am part of an organization called "The Army of Women", and they are doing research to prevent breast cancer.  There are lots of great organizations out there looking for cures, but I love that this one is trying to figure out why so many women are getting breast cancer.  As a "young'un", this definitely appeals to me.  The Army of Women sends out requests for people to participate in research studies so they can collect data.  So far I have only participated in one study, but it's researching why young women get breast cancer.  All I had to do was fill out some paperwork & get blood drawn.  The lab mailed it all in for me, and then the researchers called me for family history.  My mom, dad, & sister each did the same, which I thought was REALLY cool, and the researchers were really excited that they would have four blood samples from the same family.

To promote their organization, the Army of Women made today "Blog for Your Breasts" day.  I found it rather amusing;  I really think it should be "Blog for Your Breasts or the Lack Thereof" Day, since we ARE talking about breast cancer here!!!  Or maybe "Blog for Your Breasts, Regardless of If They're Real or Not".  But no one asked me, so I'll just do my part.  :-)

If you would like more information on joining The Army of Women, you can visit http://www.armyofwomen.org/.  The only requirements are that you're a woman (thus the name of the group!) and you're 18 or older.  They'll send you e-mails with studies listed, and you can click yes or no, depending on your interest or if you fit the requirements!  Easy peasy!  If you do join, I'd love to know about it!  Click here to watch a brief video on this great organization!

Wishing I could enroll in Grown-Up School!

Fifteen years ago today my parents & I packed up all my belongings (they all fit in a tiny little U-Haul), loaded into two vehicles along with my cute little boyfriend Matty, and headed to Virginia.  I was 22 years old, had never lived more than three hours from home, and was about as green as they come, and I was moving to my own apartment fourteen hours away from my parents so I could start my first "real" job.  We arrived at Piccadilly Loop in Yorktown, Virginia, unloaded my stuff to my third-floor apartment (with help from Bill & Lois Haskins & John & Sharon Baker), and then ate a late supper at Cracker Barrel.  The next day we went shopping for household basics (including a table we found on sale, but no chairs--that still makes me laugh).  It was an exciting time, but nerve-wracking too.  The time came when my family left, and I cried.  And cried.  And cried.  And made a grilled cheese sandwich, that I burnt.  And cried some more because I was SURE I was going to starve to death if I couldn't even make a grilled cheese sandwich without burning it.  But somehow I made it, and I didn't starve to death, and Matt ended up marrying me 7 months later even after riding in the car with my mom for 14 hours, so it all worked out.  I actually loved my time in that apartment.  Those seven months were the only time in my life when I actually lived all alone, but I really did enjoy it.  I remember paying my bills one day and thinking, "Wow.  I'm actually making it ON MY OWN."  My money, my paycheck, my apartment, my job--I was an official grown-up.

Fast forward fifteen years, and add in a husband, a child, a move back to Indiana, a house, two more children, and here we are.  Life is good--don't get me wrong.  We are blessed beyond belief, and we are thankful for what we have.  But lately I have been feeling like a loser of a grown-up!  Do you ever have days (or weeks?  months maybe?) like that?  I just feel unorganized, frazzled, and a bit loosey-goosey (whatever that means!).  I just feel like I haven't been able to stay on top of anything.  It's a challenge to keep the house clean (keep?  Who am I kidding?  GET the house clean), stay on top of our finances, care for the yard, get the kids to school on time, help the kids get homework done correctly & turned back in, feed my family healthy meals, take care of myself, spend some time with Jesus, lose weight, have fun, learn something new, help a friend in need, drink eight glasses of water every day, buy birthday gifts, put away laundry, tend to my home business, feed the cat...the list goes on & on.  And life really IS good!  I just wish I could put life on "pause" for a couple days, catch up, and then hit "play" again.  I guess I just need to make sure I put those big marbles in the jar first, manage my time wisely, and everything else will fall into place, right?  And maybe while I'm figuring out how to do that well, someone will invent "Grown-Up School" to teach me all the things I need to know to be a successful adult!

Excuses, excuses

The reason we've been AWOL from our blog is because of

soccer

End of school

Summer fun

Catching up with old friends

A trip to the zoo

A trip to Colts mini-camp

A trip to Michigan

A trip to Virginia

A trip to Uncle Dan & Aunt Rebecca's (where I didn't take my camera)

A church camping trip

New carpet in all 3 bedrooms (which meant moving everything OUT of all 3 of those bedrooms!)

A trip to the ER & 2 broken teeth (I'll spare you the picture on that, but Zi's as good as new now!)

Camping with cousins

A visit to Matt's parents'

Celebrating the last day of summer break with a silly tradition (getting donuts in our pajamas)

And the first day of school.

We had a GLORIOUS summer loaded with fun times with family & friends!  So blessed!

Peace

I have realized that I am cursed with an extra guilt gene. Sometimes it's good because it keeps me responsible, but usually it just makes me question every decision I make. Including my decision to stay home with the kids. I worked full-time until Miss Priss was 17 months, and then worked part-time that next school year teaching preschool 3 days a week, then started my home business (Homemade Gourmet), then took the rest of the year off from teaching because of that pesky ol' breast cancer. Last spring I filled in for a friend on maternity leave, teaching 2 days/ week, but this whole school year I've just done my Homemade Gourmet. And I must admit I LOVE it. I've had more time to volunteer for things, I get some time to myself (since all 3 kids are in school in the mornings), and I just feel like I have more energy to do things with the kids. But then I wonder if I should go back to work. Money's always tight since we're on one income (I bring in a little with HG, depending on how much I work that month, but it's more for extras), and I don't ever feel like I'm GOOD at being a homemaker (there's that extra gene rearing its ugly head again!). It took me a while to get the hang of this "stay-at-home Mom" thing (as much as a misnomer as it is!), but I'm still amazed at how great it is. I wish I would've done it earlier, but it was NEVER on my radar. Plus it wasn't ever anything we considered at first, since we fostered before we adopted, which meant Z could've gone to relatives at any point. I loved my career, and always thought I'd do both. Then we moved to Indiana, and I thought I'd REALLY found my dream job. I learned a lot, and hopefully I contributed in a positive way, but it didn't FIT me. But we were closer to family, plus we got L & A here, so I know it was in God's plan for us to be here. Anyway, back to the second-guessing myself thing...I have started wondering, since the kids are all in school in the morning, if I should either work more than I do at HG, or look for a "go-to-work" type of job. I know it means I'd have to give up a lot of things I love, but I wonder if the extra income would be helpful. But today was one of those days when I just felt like God was confirming that I'm where He wants me to be. This afternoon, busy A climbed up beside me on the couch to snuggle. I pulled her into my lap, and the child fell fast asleep in my arms for an hour. Just precious. She's 4, so I don't know how many of those snuggles we have left, and I don't want to miss a single one. Then tonight we took a walk (A & me)/ bike ride (boys) around the neighborhood. It was a GORGEOUS night to be outside. PERFECT spring evening. As we walked, I just realized how much peace I have right now. Not that life doesn't get crazy, not that I don't holler at my kids, not that I don't get stressed out from time to time. But life. is. good. We're all healthy. We have everything we need. We've got amazing family & wonderful friends. I often think of me being at home with the kids as something I'm doing for them, but tonight I realized it's also for Matt & me. Years ago we took a marriage class called "His Needs, Her Needs". At the beginning of the class, we were give the top 5 needs for men, and top 5 needs for women in marriage, and we were supposed to share ours. My "color-outside-the-lines" husband decided his top need was peace & quiet. (Yes, I also realize that's more than 1!) I tried to convince him that he needed to pick one from the list, but he insisted that he needed peace & quiet. Tonight on my walk I realized that even though our house isn't very peaceful, and certainly isn't quiet, we're at least closer to that then we ever were when I was working more. So on those days when I have house envy, or want more stuff, hopefully I will get another beautiful reminder of how blessed I am to have this job. So thankful for a God who not only provides in ways that this world can't, but also gives us a peace that truly does pass all understanding, through difficult times as well as wonderful times.

Blessed...

Last month I told you about the AMAZING blessing of being awarded a recipient of a gift from the Sharon Bassett Foundation. HERE is our amazing blessing:

We were assigned a "Pay-It-Forward" volunteer, Susie, from the foundation, and her daughter-in-law Nichole works at Kerman's Fine Flooring in Castleton. Susie & Nichole worked their magic, and with blessing from the owners & manager of Kerman's, they blessed us with new flooring. It's called Konecto, and it's AWESOME. The manager Keith delivered it on Thursday with another employee & his son (who was on spring break!). They wouldn't even let me carry in a box!

We tore up all the nasty carpet two weekends ago, lived on subfloor for a week while Matt did floor repair, and then my job was to take the kids AWAY so Matt could put in the new flooring. We had a lovely time at my mom & dad's, while Matt, my brother Dan & SIL Rebecca, and our friends Scott & Brent slaved throughout the weekend to get the new flooring installed. Nichole from Kerman's even brought lunch & yummy goodies over on Saturday!!!

We still have lots more to do--baseboards, new curtains, buying a new entertainment center (our old one was HUGE & solid oak--we're NOT dragging that booger back in!!!), getting a rug, and putting everything back in place, but it is SUCH a blessing to have this flooring in. It's like living in a new house. And, as if the flooring wasn't enough, they also bought our new dryer! Hopefully Matt will get that hooked up tomorrow! I've never been so excited to do laundry! ;-)

This doesn't really do it justice (because you can't really see the stains in the carpet!), but here's a before picture to go with our after (for now) picture!

I'm a tad bit worried... ;-)

We have been plagued by house gremlins here!!! About a month ago our sink started leaking. We're renovating our kitchen oh so slowly, so it wasn't too big of a deal; we'll just get our new sink & faucet now instead of waiting until we get our new countertops. Got those in, and my handy dandy Mr. Husband installed it. (And it's SO pretty! A nice new sink is a great motivation to keep the kitchen clean!) That next Saturday I got up early to give blood (more on that later!), went to wash my face, and there's no water! None! So we made it through the weekend thanks to our wonderful friends who let us invade their house & shower, and on Monday the nice well man came & replaced the well pump. (Cha-ching. Ouch.) Not only that, but the tank had to be replaced too (which he did this past Monday). Fast forward a few days...and I noticed our clothes weren't drying well. Sure enough--our dryer went bad. The nice appliance repair man came out, and informed us it would cost $286 just for parts alone. So I took a trip to the laundromat (which isn't really so bad--all our laundry was done & folded in 2 1/2 hours! And it was a LOT of laundry!), and now we're dryer shopping. Living in a van down by the river isn't sounding so bad. ;-) At least it'd be cheaper!

Back to the whole "giving blood" thing. I used to give blood regularly, and I'd often give platelets. I couldn't give for a year after the ol' BC (breast cancer) treatments, so I just became eligible again in January. So I went in to give platelets (which I really enjoy! You get to sit there in peace & quiet, and you get a snack when you're done!), and found out that I can't ever give again! Boo hoo! I don't exactly know why, but it's because I've had a double mastectomy. So if anyone wants to give in my place, I'd be honored. :-)

So as not to make this a whiny post...I have very exciting news!!!! First you need to know that our house has THE NASTIEST carpet EVER. EVER. It's disgusting. It's been disgusting for the 5 1/2 years we've lived here. But just as we started really saving for it, I got the ol' BC & we had to pay for medical bills instead. Well, in December I called about this foundation I had found that gives to breast cancer survivors in Indiana & Illinois. It's called the Sharon Bassett Foundation (www.sharonbassett.org), and it's like Make-a-Wish, but fortunately you don't have to be dying to get it! I sent in my application, and on Sunday my Pay It Forward volunteer called, & we were chosen!!! I met her on Tuesday & they came to measure our house today! I don't know exactly what will happen, but it's encouraging nonetheless.

Last, and not least, is why I'm worried. ;-) See, I have this agreement with God that should He ever choose to take me suddenly, that at least my house will be clean. All week my house has been pretty clean, and today I thoroughly cleaned my dining room fan & lights! I am NOT a clean freak by any means, though I do like a clean house, so whenever I do strange cleaning tasks I get a little alarmed. :-D Having a few hours alone at home four days a week greatly helps, I must admit.

I'll sign off now. If you've made it this far, I'm impressed! Note to self: post more often so as not to save up all our silly stories for one long post. :-) Have a great weekend, all, and don't forget to root for the COLTS this Sunday!!! Woo hooooo!!!

We're rich!

I went to the grocery store today. Sam's Club AND Meijer. Yep--we were out of everything. So now the refrigerator & craft table (which is my substitute pantry during our currently on hold kitchen remodel) are chock full of yummy food! There's even an overflow storage of food in the garage. I love that whenever I see our refrigerator full of food, I feel so rich! In American terms, we are so NOT rich. We live on a VERY meager income, fit 5 of us in a small 3-bedroom house, drive 5- & 7-year-old vehicles. At the same time, we live in a very safe neighborhood in a great county with amazing schools. We own our home. And we're slowly paying down debt we incurred before we knew about Dave Ramsey. :-) I guess we're just rich in our own way, but I'm not sure I'd have it any other way. I'm glad my kids are being raised simply, without a lot of stuff (even if what they do have is way more than they need!). I hope having a refrigerator full of food always makes me realize how blessed we truly are. This tragedy in Haiti has made me physically ill--I just cannot imagine, and I don't dare watch the news right now because I don't think my heart can handle all that!--and it brings to light how amazingly blessed we Americans are. Thank you, God, for all You have given us. I pray the Haitians will see Him through the relief efforts, and know that He has not neglected them. I'm so glad we don't need words to pray, because I don't even know what words to lift up to God as my heart is so burdened for that country. It just makes me feel selfish that I am so rich.